Each school year when a teacher receives her/his class roll of students the last thought in the mind would be the mortality of the students. These are vibrant young people with their futures in front of them. Each is experiencing and learning about the world and how it works. Energetic, inquisitive, competitive, and imaginative are but a few descriptive words for youngsters entrusted to us as their teachers.
It is a heartbreaking experience when a former student dies. Our students are not supposed to die before we do any more than before their parents. Recently another was lost to a dreaded disease, struck down just as life started to come together.
I am sure that I do not know of all those who may be sick or perhaps even all of those who may have died. But some have been lost to diseases such as cancer, cystic fibrosis, sometimes heart disease, as well as vehicle accidents and suicide.
Losing a child breaks the hearts of parents and, yes, even teachers!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Our Queen
In "our home" we have a queen and a wannabe. I am just an old woman who lives with two dogs -- female schnauzers. I refer to them as my girls. And they are!! My older one is Sassy Jane who is the queen of the house - and she knows it. My younger one is Piper -- Piper is a little type one personality girl who is the wannabe and she may be! My Sassy is laid back and easy. Piper is pushy, hyper, proactive, and impulsive. She knocks Sassy around when she can until Sassy "takes a stand." Then things change somewhat. But it does not discourage Piper -- she just keeps on trying!
Sassy has not been well for a while. She has a limp that seems to be getting worse. She has been to the vet several times for this and it has been x-rayed. The vet says the elbows of each front leg show arthritis. So Sassy has been medicated and is taking Adequan shots given by humanoid Mommy. Adequan is supposed to help rebuild the cartilage in the joint. We will see. Sassy also has bladder stones and has been treated for bladder infections for it seems like four months. First one kind and then another - each requiring a different kind of antibiotic. She keeps me broke.
Nevertheless she is the queen. She was a Christmas gift to me the year that Ken died. She gave me a reason to function on days that are now long past. What I am trying to say is that she needed to be cared for, she was now mine, and required my care. We bonded and became a family. When she had been with me for about five years she had bladder stones that had to be removed. The night before her surgery one lodged and blocked the passage of urine. After we got her through that crisis I got the bright idea that she needed a sister. Sometimes I wonder whether she thinks it was a bright idea or the dumbest idea I ever had!!
During this episode of sickness I have been struck with concern about losing her. I don't know about other people but she is a member of my family and that thought leaves me panic stricken and in a state of disequalibrium.
Sassy has not been well for a while. She has a limp that seems to be getting worse. She has been to the vet several times for this and it has been x-rayed. The vet says the elbows of each front leg show arthritis. So Sassy has been medicated and is taking Adequan shots given by humanoid Mommy. Adequan is supposed to help rebuild the cartilage in the joint. We will see. Sassy also has bladder stones and has been treated for bladder infections for it seems like four months. First one kind and then another - each requiring a different kind of antibiotic. She keeps me broke.
Nevertheless she is the queen. She was a Christmas gift to me the year that Ken died. She gave me a reason to function on days that are now long past. What I am trying to say is that she needed to be cared for, she was now mine, and required my care. We bonded and became a family. When she had been with me for about five years she had bladder stones that had to be removed. The night before her surgery one lodged and blocked the passage of urine. After we got her through that crisis I got the bright idea that she needed a sister. Sometimes I wonder whether she thinks it was a bright idea or the dumbest idea I ever had!!
During this episode of sickness I have been struck with concern about losing her. I don't know about other people but she is a member of my family and that thought leaves me panic stricken and in a state of disequalibrium.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Happy Birthday, Ken
Today, April 10th, is Ken's birthday. He always liked to say that his Mom said he was born on a beautiful sunshiny spring day. It has been twelve years since he was alive for his birthday on this good earth. He was the fourth son of six children born to his parents. He had one sister. He was also the fourth to pass away. But today he gets to celebrate his earthly birthday with his Mom and Dad.
I have no idea how life would have been different for him or for us had he been able to live and we grow old together. Which roads or paths would we have taken? No reason to wonder or dream about what can never be. Ken was a quiet person who smiled a lot when he felt comfortable in his skin. He was a student of the scriptures, studied them diligently. and had great faith. I never asked him a scriptural question that he could not answer in great depth. He loved the field of microbiology and his work in mycology. He enjoyed his years working in the field of tuberculosis as well. But when the opportunity came along to work with mycology it offered a new challenge with seemingly a never ending learning curve.
As he got sicker it became clear that he could no longer keep up the pace the work required so he retired several years before he died.
Happy Birthday, my dear. I love and miss you so very much.
I have no idea how life would have been different for him or for us had he been able to live and we grow old together. Which roads or paths would we have taken? No reason to wonder or dream about what can never be. Ken was a quiet person who smiled a lot when he felt comfortable in his skin. He was a student of the scriptures, studied them diligently. and had great faith. I never asked him a scriptural question that he could not answer in great depth. He loved the field of microbiology and his work in mycology. He enjoyed his years working in the field of tuberculosis as well. But when the opportunity came along to work with mycology it offered a new challenge with seemingly a never ending learning curve.
As he got sicker it became clear that he could no longer keep up the pace the work required so he retired several years before he died.
Happy Birthday, my dear. I love and miss you so very much.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
It Is Finished, I think
Have you ever wanted to do something well and worn yourself out in the process? Such has been the case with emptying my Mom's home of her earthly belongings and preparing it for sale at the coast. I have worked at this task for approximately three years now and I am sapped. I returned to my primary home in Raleigh yesterday no less confused than I have been for the time I have worked to achieve this task. As I backed out of the house early yesterday morning cleaning my way as I went I had mixed emotions. Is this the move I am supposed to make or is it completely and totally wrong? The real estate agent was scheduled to show up some time yesterday to film the home and site to complete the listing of the property for sale.
Whether she did or not I haven't heard. I came back to Raleigh, took my Sassy schnauzer back to the vet for an appointment and since then I have slumped. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. Now it is time to get on with the rest of my life. What will that be??
Ever since I married Ken I have spent my life between Raleigh and Wilmington. When that home is sold it will be a relief to be only responsible for one home. But is the home I will have left in the place I would rather live?
Whether she did or not I haven't heard. I came back to Raleigh, took my Sassy schnauzer back to the vet for an appointment and since then I have slumped. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. Now it is time to get on with the rest of my life. What will that be??
Ever since I married Ken I have spent my life between Raleigh and Wilmington. When that home is sold it will be a relief to be only responsible for one home. But is the home I will have left in the place I would rather live?
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Good Friday 2010
Yesterday was Good Friday as it is known in the Christian world. As I believe, it is not the true date of Good Friday as recorded in the scriptures however correct they may be according to translation but nevertheless it was the date Good Friday is celebrated for this year except for the Greek Orthodox Catholic religion. (Their celebration usually trails ours as they use the "old calendar.")
It is interesting to be here at the coast on this holiday because of traditions practiced by the religious community. One local church reenacts the crucifixion by a display of three crosses in front of their church with individuals posted on these crosses representing Jesus Christ and the two thieves. Posted below them are the guards all diked out in their Roman red costumes plus the jeering crowd and a gathering of sympathizers clothed in striped fabric of that era. Today if you go by their church you will again see the three crosses but around the middle one will be wrapped a purple cloth representing the risen Christ. I always find this an intriguing or perplexing display. It gives me cause to ponder at length.
While I do not claim to have a vast understanding of the Atonement in spite of time spent studying and thinking about it, I can't help but wonder what each of the individuals who participate in this ritual each year is thinking about the entire act of having the life of our elder brother, Jesus Christ, who was perfect in all things, be given to atone for the sins of mankind -- all of us! Understanding that incredible act in and of itself is most overwhelming. And then trying to comprehend all of the intracacies that accompany this entire happening is most baffling to my finite understanding.
It is interesting to be here at the coast on this holiday because of traditions practiced by the religious community. One local church reenacts the crucifixion by a display of three crosses in front of their church with individuals posted on these crosses representing Jesus Christ and the two thieves. Posted below them are the guards all diked out in their Roman red costumes plus the jeering crowd and a gathering of sympathizers clothed in striped fabric of that era. Today if you go by their church you will again see the three crosses but around the middle one will be wrapped a purple cloth representing the risen Christ. I always find this an intriguing or perplexing display. It gives me cause to ponder at length.
While I do not claim to have a vast understanding of the Atonement in spite of time spent studying and thinking about it, I can't help but wonder what each of the individuals who participate in this ritual each year is thinking about the entire act of having the life of our elder brother, Jesus Christ, who was perfect in all things, be given to atone for the sins of mankind -- all of us! Understanding that incredible act in and of itself is most overwhelming. And then trying to comprehend all of the intracacies that accompany this entire happening is most baffling to my finite understanding.
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