Introvert vs Extrovert

Which are you? Could you be some of both? What makes one an extrovert? What makes one an introvert? When are you most comfortable -- alone or in a group? Do you function smoothly while in a group and then breathe a sign of relief once you are away and have some time alone?
Do you come away from group activities invigorated and enthused? What kind of profession would better suit each personality type?
I taught school for many years-- a profession seemingly suited for the extrovert. I am quite introverted truthfully. Often teaching wore me "slap out!" I was ready for plenty of quiet time at the end of the day and sometimes before. Fortunately for me I came home each day to a very quiet environment where I could sit and ponder or just rest from all of activity of mind and body.
Sometimes it is very difficult to know whether folks are introverted or extroverted. Our scales of measure may be out of kilter or perhaps we truly do not understand the characteristics of each. Or even more importantly maybe we do not know each other well enough to make the call. Understanding personality types can make a world of difference in getting along with others including one's chosen mate. My husband was more of an introvert. It did not take me long to realize that it didn't pay to push him to talk when he didn't want. However, I learned quickly that he would open up and share his thoughts with me when he felt the need. Fortunately, I had received worthy training earlier in how to listen without intruding.
I. on the other hand, need to talk through and resolve issues that bother me immediately. He often was my sounding board and sometimes I would ask him to look at an issue and tell me whether I was blinded by the forest and trees. I valued his opinion We both fit the category of introverts but with very different styles.

Who knows what determines personality traits other than the gene pool with which we are all blessed when formed in the womb! I am a believer that our understanding and determination to work with those traits make all of the difference in relationships.

Nourishing Relationships

As Spring arrives our minds turn to the foliage growing, blossoming, and flourishing around us. So often I remember my husband telling me as he planted roses in his rose garden that the holes dug to plant them in should be more than twice the size of the ball going into the hole and quite deep. Often I tried to help him and he instructed me as we worked. I listened because I knew that he knew and that he had been well schooled in the "art of gardening" having been tutored by his father as he grew up on a farm in a county south of Raleigh. Over and over again we did this throughout our years together. Always his roses, shrubs, trees, and gardens flourished.
I never gave much thought to likening it to building relationships until I heard the following message by Lloyd Newell with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir broadcast. I have taken the liberty of printing it here. Perhaps it will be meaningful to you as well. As with any relationship we develop and nourish the one we carve out and mold with our eternal partner is one worthy of the best we have to give in energy and devotion.

"The Roots of Meaningful Relationships"
March 7, 2010, Broadcast #4199


The weather began to change, and a man felt inclined to plant something outside in the cold earth. After a hard winter of dark skies and icy storms, the prospect of digging in the ground warmed his heart. So he did some homework, researched the best tree for his chosen spot, and went to see an expert.
The master gardener had this counsel: "Don't plant a hundred-dollar tree in a ten-dollar hole! The roots of the tree," he explained, "must have room to expand and to absorb the nutrients from the soil. Also, the tree must be planted deep enough so that the roots can move into the soil and give the plant stability. If it's planted right, you can expect it will grow into a beautiful tree and last a long time."1

Good advice--not just for planting trees but also for building relationships. Both trees and relationships grow best in an environment that has been carefully prepared and is constantly nurtured.

Occasionally a seed may fall on uncultivated soil and spring up as a sapling, but such trees rarely last long enough to bear fruit. Likewise, lasting relationships don't just happen. They must be fostered by love and attention, cultivated by care and concern, and fed by kindness and generosity. It doesn't happen in one day of intensive attention; it happens over time, in countless small moments, as gradually as a tree grows.

Meaningful relationships are worth more than hundred-dollar trees, and they deserve all the time, effort, and energy they need to become strong and beautiful. Then, once the roots are well established, such relationships can continue to grow--even under difficult circumstances. Trust and understanding will nurture the relationship, and eventually, the flowers of love will blossom and bear sweet fruit.