Does the Atonement Really Cover....

There are seasons of the year in my life when I find myself spending much thought on certain personal experiences that cause me pain. During these times I do much heavy soul-searching and often doubt myself and my own ability to repent of actions / behaviors which I would do differently if I could go back in time and know what I know in hindsight. The Fall is one of those times of the year due to happenings of which only I am aware. I found myself in this position this week. Doubting myself seriously.

My husband suffered from and subsequently seemingly lost his life to a vicious disease called Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. If you research it you will find it is caused by a prion invading the brain tissue. Thus, it becomes a brain wasting disease for which there is no cure by the time it can be diagnosed. In his case as in most, I assume, symptoms do not make themselves manifest until it doesn't leave you much time to prepare, be aware, or deal.

As I saw symptoms in the beginning they were minor things which didn't make sense, so I didn't put two and two together, so to speak. As it rapidly progressed he started to tell me he wasn't sure the best way to get from point A to point B around town. While this caused me concern, I remember talking to him about problem solving and the best way to figure these things out while helping him to do so. And time passed. Rather than belabor my point and because it still causes me pain to go there, I will say no more about that at this time. By the way, the problem solving helps didn't work.

In order to shorten this post, I will simply say, as time passed it became truly frustrating that he could remember less and less and I found myself losing patience with him when I truly should not have. When you lose your patience you sometimes say things you wish you could take back and swallow. Finally, one day he hit a home run with me when his simple reply was, " I just can't help it. I can't remember these things."

I just can't help it! It dawned on me, the light came on! What was going on was beyond his control. No matter how many strategies he knew, no matter how smart he was or how many times he might have done something in prior times, he could not help that his memory was gone. It was beyond his control.

I spend many hours of regret wishing I could re-do these happenings and days -- wondering whether there is truly forgiveness in repentance for this on my part. Does the Atonement really cover and can he forgive me?

That Season Called Fall and 'When The Frost Is On'......

So....once again I find myself crossing the threshold to fall of another year. Never has been my favorite time of the year even though I was born in the midst of the season and find many of its accompanying traits desirable. I am always reminded of one of my favorite poems, "When The Frost Is On The Pumpkin!" You know it goes like this -- maybe you didn't know--

"WHEN THE FROST IS ON THE PUNKIN"


When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock,
And you hear the kyouck and gobble of the struttin' turkey-cock,
And the clackin' of the guineys, and the cluckin' of the hens,
And the rooster's hallylooyer as he tiptoes on the fence;
O, it's then's the times a feller is a-feelin' at his best,
With the risin' sun to greet him from a night of peaceful rest,
As he leaves the house, bareheaded, and goes out to feed the stock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.
They's something kind o' harty-like about the atmusfere
When the heat of summer's over and the coolin' fall is here --
Of course we miss the flowers, and the blossums on the trees,
And the mumble of the hummin'-birds and buzzin' of the bees;
But the air's so appetizin', and the landscape through the haze
Of a crisp and sunny morning of the airly autumn days
Is a pictur' that no painter has the colorin' to mock --
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.

The husky, rusty russel of the tossels of the corn,
And the raspin' of the tangled leaves, as golden as the morn;
The stubble in the furries -- kind o' lonesome-like, but still
A-preachin' sermuns to us of the barns they growed to fill;
The straw-stack in the medder, and the reaper in the shed;
The hosses in theyr stalls below -- the clover over-head, --
O, it sets my hart a-clickin' like the tickin' of a clock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock!

Then your apples all is gethered, and the ones a feller keeps
Is poured around the celler-floor in red and yeller heaps;
And your cider-makin' 's over, and your wimmern-folks is through
With their mince and apple-butter, and theyr souse and saussage, too! ...
I don't know how to tell it -- but ef sich a thing could be
As the Angels wantin' boardin', and they'd call around on me --
I'd want to 'commodate 'em -- all the whole-indurin' flock --
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock!

By James Whitcomb Riley

SO if I love poems such as this so much, why is it that I don't always enjoy Fall as much. Could have something to do with these allergies to grass and ragweed that make me itch from head to toe for a while. Naw, I don't really believe that is it! I think it is probably because I detest Winter so much and I know it is in the wings and cannot let myself live in the moment. Isn't that stupid; but that is the way I rock.
I guess the best way I can handle this whole situation is to enjoy each moment and to remember that joy cometh in the morning! Er,...or is that joy cometh beyond the season of 'ole man Winter!

More on Washers and Jewelry

It has been quite a time since I wrote on this blog. Looking back, I would say I am more apt to write in the winter when I am bored to tears and hating on cold weather, like only I can do! Could you even remember back when I last wrote about washers and then added a tidbit about jewelry at the end. Only I could not forget. This is the update.

As I promised in the last entry I did wind up putting that washer "out to pasture," so to speak. Probably for some, the washer is just fine For me, the washer was not a fit. So what am I out in that I have sold the washer for less than half of its worth and acquired another which cost several hundred dollars more. Just dollars and cents. Does the new one perform to my expectations? It has. Am I satisfied with it? Yes.
So what is the issue??

The issue continues to be one of the government deciding that washers are water wasters and they (government officials) need to regulate how they are engineered. So...the industry attempted to improve on the method by which our clothes are washed. The product was a new method of washing--- that of forcing water through the clothes rather that agitating them as had been done previously. Personally, I prefer the cleanliness brought about by agitating the clothing to remove soils and oil. Do I find that the amount of water is less in a machine with the impeller type cleaning? No, not as witnessed by my water bills. Do I still feel that my clothing is cleaner in an agitator machine? I do.

As for my ideas about jewelry and wearing "stuff" that looks and feels like logging chains around your neck, nothing has changed. It is what it is! However, that type costume jewelry does fill the open space left by low cut necklines.
That is it for today and my update.

Perpetuating Wallowing

In our area of this marvelous world occurred a great tragedy this week with the slaying of three gifted students two of whom were studying to be dentists and another in undergraduate school. Whether the agitation and aggravation which caused these slayings stemmed from intentional actions, we may never know. Much of the true detail has yet to be rolled out.

However, the saddest part of this event (if it may be termed so) has been (once again) the action or reaction of the press. We can expect human emotions to be what they are because lives were taken. Lawlessness seemed to reign supreme thus emotions and vocal outbursts were everywhere as many had much to say. But rather than letting people handle this tragedy in their own way the press had to get involved and rather than reporting facts and leaving it there, they hang around probing, the "in your face" kind of reporting that is difficult for families and relatives. The distateful part of all of this to me is that it seems to encourage perpetual wallowing in the remnants of an event most individuals were powerless to prevent.

The charge of it being a "hate crime" is being alleged according to the press by the families of those lost. Since the three individuals lost were of the Muslim faith one can easily understand their thought paths -- a direct reflection of world events at this time. A charge of "hate crime" would be difficult to prove in a court of law. Not much is on the law books of our nation in this area of law. These parents and families are hurting at this time. Give them space and time to grieve their losses. Let the individuals specializing in the laws of the land handle their investigations and proceed with the business at hand. AND please send the press home to report on something positive someone has done for a change! Stop perpetuating wallowing!

Tribute to Denver C Harper

On the morning of January 30, 2015 the mantle of patriarch of the Denver Harper branch of the Harper Family passed from father to son as Denver parted the veil and passed to the other side to dwell again with family members having gone before, and to await future arrival of others he loves following their earthly sojourns. Leaving behind his mortal body with its frailties, he is now able to enjoy a renewed freedom of spirit.

Denver lived a very full earthly life having been born a farm boy to parents in the eastern sandy plains of the state of North Carolina. He along with five brothers and one sister labored long hours on the family farm in their early formative years. As a young adult he went off to BYU to further his education and met a young lassie from Cardston, Alberta, Canada. After serving a mission for his church he married this young lady in the Cardston Temple and proceeded to raise a lovely family. Their earthly family is composed of two sons and four daughters. One sweet daughter passed away shortly after birth and a son who lived to adulthood, Ricky (Richard Wayne) was killed in a tragic vehicle accident shortly before he could serve an earthly mission for his church. Now many grandchildren and their families are added to that growing family circle.

He was honored to serve his country with a career in the US Army. He and his family traveled to countries and states as he served with honor. His career included a stint in the tragic fields of Viet Nam during that conflict. As I recall, he was stationed in the jungles of an area known to the world as Ahn Ke serving as a helicopter pilot and perhaps leading a unit in that valley. He retired with the rank of Lieutenant Colonel.
When I married his younger brother and into this family he and his family were living in Germany and returned back to the states some years later. After this assignment they lived in Virginia and Savannah, the latter being a choice assignment to the family as their darling Cheri became part of their family during this time.

He was the “bestest” brother-in-law a girl could hope for. In later years when my husband became ill, he came to visit and help us as Ken’s last days on this earth waned. This was a few months after he had cut the end of his finger off and had it re-attached while using his snow-blower. I remember hearing that his snow blower got lots of use as he used it to blow the snow from the walkways and porches of others in his community who needed his assistance.
After Ken’s death I settled into a new smaller home. Soon I had visitors who came to help ----guess who. I wish I could remember all he helped me accomplish during this and other visits--- tasks that were a pain for me to try to do --- some which just needed the muscles of the opposite gender. ( Lucille helped supervise and boost my spirits.) Once he helped me spread about forty-five bales of pine straw in the natural areas in back of my home and under the deck. Not a pleasant task but he insisted. That time, as I recall, he had returned to NC for a high school reunion. He even walked my schnauzer girl, Sassy, (for me) in my community and reported back when one of my grumpy neighbors complained as he passed by about dogs. Ah, what a super duper brother-in-law.
He often called just to check on me and my well-being and chat for a few minutes. I always loved touching bases with him and his family via our conversations. Always the perfect gentleman, having been born of goodly southern parents!

He came last when he brought his children to visit NC and to attend a reunion of his old church ward in Albertson, North Carolina. I had had knee surgery and was limping around like everybody’s great grandma and he and those kids were ready for some southern fun. How I envied them!!! He enjoyed his family to the fullest extent, enjoyed being with them and helping them when they needed. Each summer as long as possible he enjoyed having an extended family outing where they all could enjoy time together complete with boating and sports activities. (Bear Lake, Utah for many years, as I recall.)

In more recent years following the loss of his beloved Lucille in 2005, he did not have to look too far to find another with whom to spend his last seven plus years. He married lovely Janice in 2007 and they were fortunate to spend time together and time shared with their family.

We will all miss him as we continue our journeys here in mortality and will remember with a great deal of fondness the days when he was part of our earthly sojourn.
Farewell for a while Father, Husband, Uncle, Grandfather, Brother-in-law -----we WILL meet again.

Testing and Less Testing

Most folks shake a little in their boots at the sound of the word testing as the mind runs wild trying to figure out what .....testing. Today's local newspaper carries a headline touting a call by school administrators for less testing. As one who has had a career in public education my mind is turned toward the query of who is the testing for, who instituted the testing, who made the initial call, what do we do with results. What crosses my mind quickly is politicians with their allegations that schools, i.e. teachers, were not doing a satisfactory job in educating the students in public schools. Therefore, we must test to prove our point!!

On the other hand, looking at a broader picture of the entire scene we see the following. In the arena which is the school and classroom we must actually teach for mastery. So we teach, teach, teach and then we evaluate in some form to 'see' if the concepts taught were mastered! In their efforts to be more effective some where along the way it was decided that perhaps an evaluation should be done at intervals (called benchmarks) to check for gaps and progress making intervention easier rather than waiting until the end and just measuring deficits and shaking fingers at those "darned teachers!" And I might add placing blame. Personally I have always felt that a gap in this procedure is what is done with the results when benchmark testing shows deficits in understanding and mastery.

What has evolved with all of these intentions and evaluations has been an elephant in the house who has devoured the one thing of which teachers are always short.....instructional time. How do you resolve this issue?? A curriculum is designed with each teacher being charged with teaching and developing mastery of concepts in given area(s). There do not seem to be enough instructional hours within the allotted time in a school year to teach, test multiple times, remediate, and still move forward with the charge of teaching and developing the curriculum in a course of study

I have some ideas but I doubt they would be very popular since many of them involve the appropriation of additional dollars to public education. Do you have any of your own?? Most folks can think of many complaints but few have suggestions for solutions.

Washing Machines and Jewelry

And so it goes....I did my research!!! I mean I truly did my research. My washing machine died back in the fall; it was only about sixteen years old, maybe! So I started checking out new machines knowing detergent had changed but without a full knowledge of what that meant in terms of washing machine re-design. How convoluted can an issue be!! I learned that rather than all machines being driven by an agitator in the center the newer designs were what is known as impellers. From what understanding I could gain this design is one in which water and a cleaning agent is forced through the dirty clothing to clean them. I had my doubts. All of the studies I could find verified my doubts. Some of those purchasing and using these machines indicated they were satisfied and a significant number indicated they were less than pleased and felt their clothes were not as clean with the impeller system as with an agitator.

I continued my quest of finding a new machine. I went from store to store. I talked with salesman after salesman. Pretty soon it was obvious they did not like my shopping techniques or my questions. They seemed to wonder why I just didn't play stupid, buy a machine, and leave. I asked too many questions, I asked about complaints, feedback, their understanding of how the machines operated and cleaned the clothing. I wore myself out. I was getting nowhere. I was bent on finding the best agitator machine possible. What I found was a large collection of available impeller machines by various companies and very few makers of agitators available locally for purchase.

I continue to be angry with myself for my choice. I hate to admit that I finally gave up. Rather than buy an agitator (type) which appeared to be more cheaply made machines lacking features I let myself be talked into buying an impeller type machine. And as I had gleaned from the reviews and studies, my own experience has been no different. An impeller machine does not clean clothes as well as does an agitator. With that being said, there are legitimate complaints about agitators such as clothing being caught around the agitator post. Most of the mentioned complaints were of lesser importance than the cleanliness of clothing to me. I have found myself putting items through several wash cycles before I could even accept their level of cleanliness. Stay tuned. I may pitch this washing machine out any day in a fit of Irish anger known only to Daugherty descendants. Then I will again be looking for agitator machines hoping they are still making them!

By the way, I also bought a new dryer and its performance is quite acceptable.

Now to my deal with jewelry In recent years, fashion has been on a bend of low necklines. Seemingly to go along with that, costume jewelry has been caught up in a revival of necklaces to fill that void of exposed neckline and cleavage. It is strand after strand of logging chains with some colored crystals or beads hung on them. While they started out looking quite attractive, as they have evolved they just get tackier and tackier. Need I add that I don't think many of them do a lot for accessorizing an outfit. Don't get me wrong. I love jewelry --but with a bit more class. Just my opinion......no one needs to agree.

Cotton-Pickin' Politics

I admit it....I read the newspaper regularly. I follow politics and political issues. Sometimes political issues irritate me "right out of my frame," so to speak! However, I have learned over the considerable years of my life that I have very little power to influence the outcome of political decisions. Certainly, I can vote and I do. I could lobby, write letters, arrange appointments with political representatives but....I have come to realize that many of those whom we elect pay little attention to our requests, reasoning, and opinions once elected and in office. This is not the way the system is supposed to work --- we all know this but.....unfortunately 'it is what it is,' as I use an overused cliche'.

As for political views, I am not certain I could be identified with any political party, thus I am an Independent. However, in this state I am identified as Unaffiliated. Go figure. Independent versus Unaffiliated!!

What I have learned is this, it does not pay to get your panties in a wad or your britches in a stitch over these issues alone. If you find you are able to align yourself with a group of individuals who represent your thinking, have influence, and the ability to approach reform in a lawful and acceptable manner you might have impact. Otherwise, try not to waste your energy and blow your blood pressure out of the water thinking you, alone, can control a bunch of politicians once they have that all important thing called "power!" Once that happens, they go deaf!!

Pet Ownership and Responsibility

I am convinced that when we long for a pet to enrich our lives we never ever give thought to losing that object of our love and devotion to disease or the cost and care that may be incurred in trying to take care of the pet. That particular thought occurs to me very often these days after having several doggies who have suffered pain and disease and in one case was lost to cancer.

It tears at the heart when you take your pet to the vet hoping for treatment and relief only to find that there exists a disease that can be treated (perhaps) but not cured and in some cases becomes the cause of loss of the pet to death. We do the best we can hoping we are doing all that is right/correct sometimes finding we were not 100% on target.

At our house these days we have one healthy mini schnauzer (age 4) and one (age 10) who has been diagnosed and is being treated daily for diabetes which in pets is Type I. Wow, what a ride this has been! She is contrary to feed for whatever reason. She once was easy to feed. Nowadays, not so much. I am never sure whether she just isn't hungry or doesn't want what I can offer. Diet is limited in that sugar or carbs which convert to sugar are limited to exclusion. There are days when I almost lose my mind trying to get her to eat so that I can administer the required insulin. Dogs receive an insulin injection about 15-30 minutes AFTER eating. Then there is the question of walking your dog. As you know, exercise affects use of sugar in the burning of energy by the body. So...much must be considered here in caring for her basic health. Checking their glucose levels can also be a trial. After all, who likes to be punched with needles and sharp things all of the time. I never thought about a dog having diabetes previously but now I certainly do. With my first schnauzer, I learned lessons about dogs with bladder stones and removal plus having them lodge in the tract and needing removal. I learned that bladder stones are of two varieties and what causes each --- and consequently prevention. So much to learn, so much responsibility.

Each day we move forward in our house, try to do our best to care for and love both mini schnauzer girls and meet the challenges which occur. Will I consider pet ownership after this? I don't know the answer to that. With pure bred dogs prone to a variety of diseases it can be expensive. Time will tell.