**Post SASSY...

So today is Sunday as I try to pull myself together. When Ken passed away I learned how to compartmentalize my mind. I think I need to hark back to those practices for a little while as I deal with the raw hurt and missing Sassy. My doctor told me it is OK to compartmentalize so long as you, at some point, pull forth that hurt and deal with it.

Today I am grateful for two little schnauzers, Piper Kensleigh and Kamelot Kamryn. Kami is not quite six months and was acquired as I prepared for the loss of my beloved Sassy. Piper is six years and nine months. I acquired Piper when Sassy was six for a playmate or companion. Sassy had a very, very bad surgery with bladder stones and was quite sick. I felt she needed a daily canine companion and a companion while I was at work. So we got Miss hyper Piper. She has a much different schnauzer personality than sweet Sassy. When Kami gets through this wild puppy stage I suspect she will have a personality much like Sassy. She is a lover right now.

This is the season for giving thanks. Today I am grateful for friends who care. One who sent absolutely gorgeous flowers to me to make me feel better, warm my home atmosphere, know that she cared and to help me feel the love of my Heavenly Father. Another has been my visiting teacher who volunteered to go with me when she realized the time had come for me to send Sassy to Schnauzer Heaven. My family members who understand and offer kind thoughts and condolences. I have many blessings; I am grateful for every single one far too numerous to list.

**It has been several hours since I wrote this post. I have reconsidered the title. It is all wrong.

IT WILL NEVER BE POST SASSY. She will ALWAYS BE WITH ME JUST LIKE KEN,

my mistake.

The Day After ......

Today begins the first day of my life in eleven years, eleven months and fourteen days without my precious Sassy schnauzer. When I think of her the tears roll. I am still in shock. She was laying on my lap yesterday as her vet administered the drug that stopped her magnanimous heart. I was hit with the thought, "whatever have I done?" I have allowed my best friend in the canine world to be put to sleep never to wake again in this life. I uttered these very words, "whatever have I done?" and started bawling. The doctor and my friend assured me that I had relieved her of her pain and set her spirit free of the cancer-riddled body. Why does it hurt so badly if I have done what was best for my beloved dog? And why do I keep having to make these painful decisions for those I love so dearly? The vet left the room and told me she would check back in a while and for me to hold her for as long as I wanted. And I did, I gave her up as her little body started to cool. She actually never moved when injected with the heart stopping drug. I could not help but wonder if she had gone before the drug was administered. By the time the vet could get the stethoscope to her heart it had stopped.

I have tried to prepare myself for this day. On Labor Day weekend I traveled to Lebanon, Tennessee, and got another schnauzer puppy as a companion for my Piper schnauzer. I have felt for some time that doggies need a companion friend especially when I was working and not home during a lot of the day. A puppy can be extremely distracting and I hoped this would help as I faced the inevitable. At the moment my puppy, Kami, has been sitting next to me and kissing my face as I cry. This is tough, folks, really tough.

When I look at her pictures I think that I can't believe that she is really gone. It is like she should be here somewhere with me. Oh, precious Sassy, I miss you so.