My Intro to Aphasia

Since I can't seem to get it together today to do "common housework" I will further delay my housekeeping efforts and write. I would rather write than clean any how!!

Yesterday's News and Observer carried an article on aphasia. It gave me cause to pause and think on my past experience with this condition -- a condition not many of us would think much about unless we had occasion to experience it and its ensuing frustration(s).

Aphasia is caused by some type of brain injury. The most recent nationally known example of one suffering from this condition has been the Congresswoman Rep. Gabrielle Giffords after having been shot in the Tucson incident. It is simply the inability to communicate through vocal means. Gabby has recovered some ability to speak and is progressing rapidly.

In my teaching career I had become familiar with students who were selective mutes and knew first hand of the difficulty of dealing with them. In those cases the students had the ability to speak but chose not to. Not being able to speak (period/ at all) was new to me.

One day in the month of February my Mom had a massive stroke. My brother found her in the bathroom floor one Saturday morning. Since she lived alone it was difficult to pinpoint how long she might have been there. When she arrived at the hospital and her condition was assessed the stroke had progressed beyond the point for treatment to be effective enough to save her from extensive damage. The brain was swelling and bleeding. According to the doctors we were left to wait and see how far it progressed and what damage had been done. She was aphasic and the swelling stopped just above the brain stem. Needless to say we were heartbroken. (She then lived within days of one year after the stroke.) After extensive hospitalization we had to place her in a total care facility due to her medical needs. She couldn't do anything to command, could not communicate, and in no way could care for herself. Damage also seemed to include "her thermostat". Her temperature would spike and nurses would be scurrying all over trying to lower it and figure out what caused the spike. Her care was most difficult. She somehow showed no expression in her face at all. When you entered the room she showed no expression -- even her eyes were expression --less. Thus, my first experience with aphasia and its limits.

This disorder manifests itself in different ways depending on which parts and how much of the brain is damaged by injury or stroke. It affects the ability to express oneself through speaking, reading, and writing, and to understand others, yet does not affect intelligence. Thus, with my Mom, we never knew where or how we stood. Did she understand us and was a prisoner in her own body, unable to react??? or just how was this working??? I never knew so when I would enter the room I always told her who I was. Finally my siblings told me to stop it -- that she knew who I was -- but maybe I told her cuz I didn't know who I was!! I don't know -- but it was a terribly confusing time in my life.

The human body is a magnificent machine. Its ability to recover functions is remarkable depending on the state of health at the time of injury or damage. I think that I must have lived in a vacuum most of my life and was a completely naive adult. I now have been exposed through experience to some unique medical ailments. Not too many years after the death of my Mom I again experienced the same frustration trying to unravel the medical mystery ailing my husband never realizing that it would take his life --- the life of an otherwise seemingly healthy man who had no bad habits of any kind.

I now sometimes believe that I have been conditioned by my experiences and not much surprises me any more.

In case you missed the article. It was in Monday's (3/21) paper and was entitled Help for when talking is tough.

Bye for now.

The interesting part about the article (in the N&O) was that it discussed aphasia in folks who recovered enough from their stroke or injuries and lived with aphasia. What an interesting look at the progress and studies being done with these people.

My Kami (Kamelot)

I guess you could describe me as a troubled or disturbed pet owner this evening. Before my Sassy Schnauzer went to Schnauzer Heaven I acquired a Schnauzer puppy. She is now almost ten months old and has a shrill yippy little bark. And like most terriers she is a barker. I have a wrought iron fence around my little back yard where my doggies can play and take care of doggie affairs and business. As the weather has warmed Kami has loved being able to go outside and nose around chasing squirrels and barking. If neighbors make noise, children yell and play, neighbors slam car doors or trucks go up or down the street Kami looooves to bark. Of course, we are all aware that doggies communicate with us through barking. So I guess we can say that Kami loves to communicate ---- lots!

One morning recently I found a letter from a single male neighbor in my mailbox. It was a letter of complaint about Kami's barking. He said it was disturbing to him and left the impression that it was disturbing the other neighbors as well. I gave this complaint a great deal of thought. After many hours of pondering what to do I decided to acquire a bark collar for her to wear when she plays outside. I also wrote an e-mail message to all of my closest neighbors (including this man) and apologized for Kami's barking and its intrusion into their peace of mind. I told them of my plan and explained (some already knew) that Sassy was no longer with us and that I had a puppy who has a shrill bark and loves to bark. Until she matures her bark will be shrill but eventually it will change with maturity.

My problem is that I can't get the bark collar to work effectively for her. This model is supposed to emit a high pitched sound when she barks. This is supposed to stun her enough to stop her barking. So far, no success. There are models that spray citronella on them when they bark. Dogs do not like citronella and it is supposed to modify the barking behavior. Apparently they are less effective than the one I purchased -- thus I chose the sound model.

My only other option has been to bring her back into the house when she starts that incessant barking. One of the big problems is that she loves the neighbors -- because on three sides of the back yard they pet her, talk to her, and make over her. So- what does girlfriend do??? Stands at the fence and barks to get their attention, of course.

Since I have been trying to get her potty trained I like to let her wander the yard until she "takes care of business" in addition to chasing squirrels.

Oh, dear, what is a humanoid Mommy supposed to do? I do not want to wind up in the Wake County Sheriff's jail because Kami likes to communicate!

The Birth Order Debate

How do feel about the theory that birth position/ order in the family makes a difference in the personality attributes of a child? Many espouse these theories as definitely true.
I have read some about this and I have listened to individuals discuss the theories giving a convincing argument that would definitely contribute to making them facts.

So according to theory, parents put high expectations with many responsibilites on oldest children activating and developing leadership skills the child may already possess in those areas. Studies show that oldest siblings and only children often have cognitive and analytical interests. Later borns were often more creative and interested in outdoor activities. Middle chilren receive less attention and are often just stuck in the middle of things. Only children, of course, spend lots of time with older people.
So they are saying that birth order will accentuate traits children already have but not guarantee that they will have certain traits.
The theory seems reasonable but it does bring up lots of logic questions. Children born into families with lots of siblings would not have to socialize outside of the home for relationships with others. Children born into small families might have more of a tendency to do so. There are many variables that could affect the birth order theory which leave cause(s) to question it in my opinion.

So that brings me to my quandry. I am the oldest living child in a family of four children. I had an older sibling who died four hours after birth. I was an only child for six years. I have two siblings born after me at intervals of almost six years. Where does that leave me in all of this?

I would be willing to bet that my discussion of this makes no sense to anyone but me. I have always confused myself.

Reverence

We are an irreverent people! Have you ever wondered why or how? I think the how is easy enough to figure out but I am not certain about the why.

Why do we go to church and talk and socialize in the Lord's house instead of listening or sitting quietly and pondering the music or works of the Savior. We receive instructions often about reverence along with suggestions of ways to be more reverent. Instead of taking these instructions and suggestions seriously and putting them to work in our lives we often talk with friends in the back and in the aisles and socialize by greeting visitors and friends. Perhaps we are conferring about business or children's play dates or something insignificant but is this the place for conferencing and collaborating?

It often seems that unless there is a concerted effort on the part(s) of leaders we as individuals do not exercise the self control on our own to be reverent. Could it be rationalization -- if everyone else is talking I may as well talk, too???
Do we keep our children quiet by preparing at home with materials of interest to them so that they can endure a long meeting?
And after the meeting, do we exit the worship area quickly so that our children can be more active or do we turn them loose to play with the draperies, chase each other through the pews, come to the podium and try out the sound system, or just play in areas they do not get to frequent.

After a recent meeting the doors were open from the chapel / worship area to the cultural hall. Some little ones were running and squealing to the "tops of their lungs" while they chased one another from one area to another. Fathers were busy putting away and stacking chairs. Moms did not even seem to notice that they needed to take charge of the discipline of their kids.

Sometimes I wonder why I even prepare or bother playing prelude and postlude. I could probably do a lovely pole dance and no one would notice!!

Thinking of Others

Another powerful message delivered by Lloyd Newell with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir broadcast recently. A message I needed to hear. Maybe you as well, huh????

Others Along the Way March 6, 2011 Broadcast number 4251 Some people seem to have life firmly in their grasp, everything under control, and all things positive before them. But more often than not, it's not the full story. Everyone struggles a bit at times, and we all know what it feels like to worry. But worrying is not all bad if it grows into empathy for others who, like each one of us, carry burdens. Of course, some burdens are heavier than others, and that's why we need each other along the way. We each have times when our burdens are more than we can bear alone, and we have other times when it's our opportunity to make someone's burden lighter. A man with a dreadful diagnosis decided that he would wage his battle alone. Strong and independent, he determined that this was his problem and he would fight it by himself. Only his wife knew the grave condition of his health. But little by little, word got out to a few people. They inquired about his health; they expressed their concern; they prayed for him. The love and outreach of others softened his heart. He realized that going alone was not the best way. He needed others. He needed their affection and strength; he appreciated their interest and their prayers. Eventually his health improved, and so did his attitude. Because of what he learned, he now makes it a point to show more concern and compassion to others. In one way or another, heartache and worry beset us all. And with them there often comes a profound hunger for genuine love and companionship, for support and kindliness. If we open our hearts to accept such help, we will find ourselves not only more willing but also more able when it becomes our turn to lift another's burden.

Spring Forward!!

Well, finally we are here!!! Springing forward. I have waited since last November when we "fell backwards!" Everybody else seems to hate it--- DST, that is -- especially people with children that they can't stand and that they want to go to bed early. I love longer days. This means in the morning I will not wake up to full daylight. But I will have the daylight hours on the end of the day.

I guess I love days with more daylight hours on the end (of the day) because I am a slow starter in the morning. I have teasingly often said that I get up mad at the world because I had to get up but that really isn't true. If I have something I need to do I am up and at it.

There is something about short days that really gets to me. When it starts to get dark I want to be home and inside. It marks the end of the day to me. Because I start slowly in the beginning of the day I accomplish much more when the daylight hours are on the end of the day.

I also have Light Affective Disorder. I need the light and sunlight. Tomorrow is supposed to be a little warmer and the day will be longer. I think I will sit outside in the sunshine and bask in the light for one hour before I go to church --- just soak in all of the light and vitamins that I can possibly take in!! Happy Daylight Saving Time, Everyone!

Do I Really Want To Do This????

After having had a long, long teaching career I have been at home for one complete school year and almost two-thirds of another. I got a call recently from the substitute office about coming in for AESOP training to put one's name on the substitute list. Now, never have I ever been interested in substituting but it could be an interesting experience and help some poor sickly teacher. So I entertained the idea by attending. I am working on the paper work included in the process.

I still do not have a clear vision of me doing this job very often. I keep trying to wrap my brain around the idea but I am having a bit of difficulty. Is there any hope?

In the meeting I attended I met a former colleague who was happy to see me, an acquaintance who is a fellow church member, several teachers who retired at the end of last school year, and many stay-at-home moms who are former teachers before having families. There were a few former teachers who were planning to do interims, as well.

The school employee conducting the session mentioned that this school system has in excess of 3500 substitutes on their list. Makes you wonder why you even got a call. But then again perhaps I understood in my head!

The AESOP software is programmed so that a sub can actually block their name from being called when a sub is needed. The program starts calling for subs automatically at a certain time if subs have not chosen to do the jobs online prior. Of course you can choose which schools you will serve and which days you are available.

So.. what is one to conclude? Perhaps of those 3500++ in the system not too many remain active as subs???

Gonna ponder this one some more.....

In the meantime, life goes on.