One Day At a Time.....

The journey has been long, the road full of detours, the pavement rocky and laden with potholes but on December first, I, for the last time closed the blinds, locked the door and closed it behind myself. I had finished the task and felt much like I had been through a refiner's fire. It was done. With my sister's help I had cleared from the home all of my Mom and Dad's earthly belongings. Those we chose to keep had been placed in one of our homes, the others we had disposed of in a respectful manner.
Forty nine years of my life came to a close. Bittersweet....the best description.
For the better part of three to four years (mostly in the summers) I had prepared the home for my eventual departure, updating those items that I could in preparation for a new owner. I painted, removed wallpaper, put in new light fixtures and some appliances, replaced flooring, replaced plumbing fixtures, power washed, covered all the wood exterior to both protect it from Mother Nature and avoid incessant painting,and put in new kitchen counter tops. In the end I had a contractor divide one huge bedroom into two, install fire alarms in each bedroom, and make small corrections that an inspector recommended. I had removed an old tree from the yard that troubled a neighbor. I felt I had finished the work. I am certain there are other corrections I made on this journey but the major ones I have named.
The home is sold and today has a new owner and a new occupant.

My Mom built it in 1990; moved in about June 15th of that year and lived there until February of 1991 when my brother and his family found her in the floor of her bathroom. A CVA had, at some time earlier, done its damage and our Mom would never be the same. She died approximately one year later. I and my husband owned the home from July of that year until now. Ken died in 1998.

Now is the time for big decision making for me. I live in Raleigh alone with two doggie girls. I have no relatives here. The members of my family live approximately 2-3 hours from me. But my friends are here.
IF I move, will I be happy? Does that matter?
IF I stay, do I put "undue inconvenience" on them?
Do they really care???
My guess is that they just hope I will be happy and can take care of myself.
I have, to this point in my life, been blessed with very good health. For that I am very grateful. I don't like having to make these decisions --- it may take me a while.

Being "Retarred!"

Have I mentioned recently how much I am enjoying being retired?????
When I initially broke and dislocated my shoulder I had no idea how not working would impact a life that had been so involved with teaching (for all of my adult life) since graduating from college. I suppose the fact that my recuperation involved so many months of physical therapy plus the fact that the damage done to my shoulder was truly severe helped me realize I would need to invest much time and effort to healing. Recuperation and learning to manipulate and use my shoulder again became first in my list of priorities.

Now that my shoulder is functional I have settled into another group of priorities which have certainly become more pleasurable. I still love teaching and the field of education but it has become entrapped with so much controversy in NC (as well as the rest of the nation) that one can't help but be relieved to not be involved any more. I miss the continual course work and educational updates but not the hassle. I love learning!

So... lots of mornings I can just relax and sleep as long as I wish, get up and leisurely eat breakfast and read the newspaper. Then go about my day's activities. I hope I do not find myself getting lazy. If I do---guess what----I may just go out get a job and become un-retarred!!

Remembering My Sassy

This day tears at my heart as I remember my first canine friend --- truly my BFF. I DID NOT want to send her away. That morning, a year ago, I carried her outside because that front paw worked no more due to the cancer. She attempted to squat as she always did to take care of "business." She fell down, then staggered forward and attempted again. I watched as she got to her other three feet and stood over against the wrought iron fence and looked back at me. Her pitiful, bewildered look let me know it was time. I had made an appointment (the day before) to take her in on this day to "do the deed." But during the evening and night I had changed my mind until I saw all of this. I had been awake most of the night and most of several nights trying to keep her comfortable and listening to her breathing. At this point, I knew. Dread filled my heavy heart. Indeed at this point, her life was in my hands. I simply made myself take her that day to her vet at Bowmans and put her out of her misery.
I think I would place it second among the most difficult choices I have had to make pertaining to life.

She was a precious dog and I loved her so! She had been my friend through so many dark days as I grieved Ken's death. I have missed her so. Folks who have never owned a dog could never understand. I will not attempt to explain....I don't think I could write so that others could comprehend the relationship between a beloved canine and the owner.

Now I have two more little girls similar to my Sassy. I love them in the same way. But in my heart there will always be that special place reserved just for "My Sassy." I will see you Sweet Girl, sometime, somewhere over the Rainbow Bridge. Just wait for me.
My precious, precious one.

Say now, do you know??

Aha, it is Monday, day to do the wash! But wash we shall not, instead we shall write.

The girls and I have spent the last few days at the coast at my sister's home. The girls had fun playing and romping in the big-big yard with my sister's two dogs. I helped my sister in the media center at her school with tasks she needed a hand completing.

The weather turned nasty and the temperature cooled as it got closer to the time for us to return to the big 'ole capital city. But by the time the day arrived the sun was gorgeous even if the temperature was somewhat nippy. As we rode along up to the big city of Wilmington the wind rocked our little suv back and forth as if it was going to lift us up like Mary Poppins and spin us around. The trees have turned their magical colors and quite frankly they looked a little spent!! Couldn't help but think as we traveled on that the next time we made this trip the leaves could all be on the ground and the trees' arms (limbs) sticking out all bare. As I used to tell my students, "It is difficult to understand trees. In the fall they take off all of their clothes and throw them on the ground just as the weather gets cold. We humans put on more clothes when it gets cold. In the spring when we humans get ready to shed our heavy coats, jackets and sweaters, then trees put their clothes (leaves) back on. Wonder why trees are so mixed up???

We stopped by our own home in Wilmington for just a few minutes. The winter rye grass is starting to come up nicely on the front lawn and looked very pretty and green. We could hardly make our way along the streets near Castle Hayne as it was the "Fall Polish Festival" at St. Stanislaus Catholic Church. The sides of the highway and the side streets are always full of cars with folks going and coming on this day. Evidently they have truly good Polish food during this festival because people seem to come from everywhere to attend each year. Fall festivals are great fun.
It all makes me wish we could stay young forever! I would love to teach school until the day I die.
Now I must close this entry because I need to hurry outside and plant some more grass seed. As you know I love spring and my fescue grass needs to be patched in spots.
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!

Learning Decimals

For whatever reason decimals are extremely difficult for students to learn and put to practical use. That fact has been refreshed in my mind over the last few weeks as I worked with my sister in her media center with books in the library collection. The principal has been insisting she use student helpers. They have been doing some shelving of returned books.
As I worked on shelving books this past week I realized that the students seem to understand numbers left of the decimal and got those in "pretty good" order. But those to the right of the decimal threw them totally. Not only could they not get the numbers right of the decimals in order, they even mixed up the alphabet.

This served as a reminder of former years trying to teach decimals to fifth graders. It could be truly a task. Some students seemed never to be able to grasp place value and that it was not the same on both sides of the decimal. There were similarities (and maybe that is the thing that threw them.) On the left side of the decimal each succeeding place moving to the left multiplied the value by 10. But on the right side something opposite was occurring. While the number seems to be multiplied, the parts are actually smaller as you right!!! How can this be?????---has to do with that "ths" that you have to add to the place name.
Reflecting on it --- it probably is something developmental and has to do with maturity and whether the child / student has a true understanding of the place value system from the beginning.
The last year I worked I did some work with children in grades 1-3 who were not achieving in Math. It became clear to me that they were not and had not spent enough time on Math in the few years that they had already attended school. Sooooo -- if you are out there with little kiddies at home--always be sure you read, read, read with them -- but do not neglect getting them started early at home with a little math understanding and the value of numbers. You could easily do this by working with coins. Just sayin'.......

Rambling.......

As the days have gotten progressively shorter I have found myself driving back from the coast in the dark more often than I would like. My poor vehicles have been generously covered with bugs, NC variety bugs, full of 'baccer juice I would say. They have made a mess all over the front end of my cars. Today I have used all kinds of removers plus a bit of muscle power trying to clean them away. Still more remnants remain than I would like. A friend suggested that I use some Comet or Ajax cleanser. Not sure what that would do to the finish.

My two schnauzers think they are "hooman." I wonder why??? They think they should have the same things their humanoid has to eat and that they should be allowed in the same places. I am beginning to believe that they have selective hearing as well. They understand just what they want to -- the rest-- they choose not to understand and pretend that they are dogs at that point.

Sometimes I wonder about myself. My brain and body seems to be scattered all over everywhere. I am running all over trying to get tasks done that really need to be accomplished and my days are eaten up without getting my work at home done. I will be glad when I focus on things I need to do about and around my home. Oh well, like Scarlett, there is always tomorrow.

Today there is a chill in the air and a nip to the chill. I think that means fall has really arrived. And then I heard that Greg Fishel guy talking about how rapidly we are losing daylight hours as this year of 2011 draws to a close. He also referred to the fact that we transition to EST in less than two weeks. At that point we will really feel the lack of daylight. Not too sure I am ready for that but do I have a choice?? Don't think so. So be it... and I have just turned on the gas logs to take the nip off the chill! By next week we will warm up again --- hip hip hooray!

That's all for now folks!

Fall & Me

I have decided for sure that I do not like Fall. Probably for all of the reasons everyone else likes Fall.

For starters, I have allergies. I am extremely allergic to ragweed, Johnson grass, and about a dozen other pesty little grasses that grow here in the south. My nose itches, my eyes water and itch; I just itch all over. I stay congested and it just is not fun.

Other disturbing issues for me are shadows and light. Even the days are darker because the shadows seem to be longer. The sunshine is so much more fun with its bright rays and warmth before the fall solstice. Now the days will continue to get shorter with each succeeding day. We will change back to standard time in early November and for at least four months I will be miserable.

Since Ken died I have not looked forward to any of the fall holidays. My only wish from year to year is just to get them over. It is an endurance task for me -- living through those holidays.

That probably seems sad to any one who reads this blog but it is what it is. I don't ask for or want sympathy for any of these feelings. It goes without saying we know that any of us could be left alone at any time in our life. Should that happen we just pick up what is left and do our best to deal with "it" in our own way. Thus, to me the holidays are just like any other day and I don't look forward to them I just live through them like any other plain ole day. Neither do I begrudge these days to any one who enjoys fall and winter holidays --- if they love them and have fun on and during them -- I am happy for them and like to see them happy.

Having said that doesn't mean that I don't wish for more hours of sunlight on those days. I certainly do. And so it goes with life, we make the best of what we have.

I don't like winter and cold temperatures. For the first twenty-one years of my life I lived where we definitely had winter, cold, and snow. I am so over that --like forever over cold weather. I just curl up into a knot and pray for it to pass.

And pass it surely will -- and Spring will come again followed by Summer!