One year ago today the last of the children of Thurman and Alice Davis Harper left this good earth to join his parents and other siblings plus his dearly beloved Lucille, and two of their children, Ricky and Nancy. Since that time I have often thought of that great reunion for the Harper Family. In my mind's eye it was a reunion beyond description. Within a month of Denver's departure the husband of his only sister, Jimmy Deaver, (known to some as Jesse) also joined the family as well as the Deaver Clan. One can only imagine how this reunion went when these former residents of the sandy soils of eastern North Carolina met together after a time of separation.
Although my acquaintance with some of those involved in these families is non-existent being a part of these families through marriage and having known those who loved and remembered them helps one feel as though I know them through family ties.
I miss Denver just as I miss his brother Ken who was my husband. Not a day goes by that I do not spend some time remembering Ken and regretting that I cannot speak to him.....or just missing him. his golden voice, and beautiful spirit and demeanor.
I am certain those left in Denver's earthly family feel much the same today and on many others.
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Monday, January 18, 2016
Humility
Credit to Mormon Tabernacle Choir Broadcast
This Week's Broadcast
January 10, 2016 | Broadcast Number 4504
“The Power of Humility”
The world in which we live is fiercely competitive—some would even say ruthless. The pressure to succeed, to get ahead, leads many to be aggressive, dominating, overpowering. And succeed they often do—in a sense. But there’s a different, even a better way to live and to succeed. It is, in a word, humility.
Of course, humility is not a new idea, but it is getting renewed attention in—of all places—the hard-hitting business world. Recently several large, successful corporations have begun to prize humble leaders over the brash, overbearing kind. Humble leaders, they’ve found, “listen well, admit mistakes, and share the limelight.”1 They have helping hearts; they encourage teamwork and promote collaboration. They see themselves not as kings who issue orders but as coworkers in a worthwhile endeavor. Humble leaders see themselves authentically, with both strengths and weaknesses, and they recognize that leading others and serving them are not mutually exclusive efforts. One can be visionary and relentless, with the mind of a leader, and still be humble and teachable, with the heart of a servant.
Company executives are finding that when they hire leaders who are humble and eager to improve, the entire company benefits. A culture of humility and cooperation spreads throughout the workforce, bringing out the best in everyone.
But the humility must be sincere. In some ways, false modesty is worse than bold-faced arrogance because it is deceptive. By contrast, genuine humility comes from seeing things as they really are—recognizing that no one is superior to another, that we are each learning and growing as we go along. Some may be more gifted or talented, some may have had greater opportunities and more doors opened to them, but all have something to offer. All are worthy of dignity and respect.
If this attitude can improve the corporate world, think about what it could do for our interactions in our homes and communities. Imagine what might happen if we listened a little better, admitted our errors, and stopped worrying about who gets credit. Humility just may be the key that unlocks the door to improved relations, stronger organizations, and happier lives.
1. Joann S. Lublin, “The Case for Humble Executives,” Wall Street Journal, Oct. 20, 2015.
This Week's Broadcast
January 10, 2016 | Broadcast Number 4504
“The Power of Humility”
The world in which we live is fiercely competitive—some would even say ruthless. The pressure to succeed, to get ahead, leads many to be aggressive, dominating, overpowering. And succeed they often do—in a sense. But there’s a different, even a better way to live and to succeed. It is, in a word, humility.
Of course, humility is not a new idea, but it is getting renewed attention in—of all places—the hard-hitting business world. Recently several large, successful corporations have begun to prize humble leaders over the brash, overbearing kind. Humble leaders, they’ve found, “listen well, admit mistakes, and share the limelight.”1 They have helping hearts; they encourage teamwork and promote collaboration. They see themselves not as kings who issue orders but as coworkers in a worthwhile endeavor. Humble leaders see themselves authentically, with both strengths and weaknesses, and they recognize that leading others and serving them are not mutually exclusive efforts. One can be visionary and relentless, with the mind of a leader, and still be humble and teachable, with the heart of a servant.
Company executives are finding that when they hire leaders who are humble and eager to improve, the entire company benefits. A culture of humility and cooperation spreads throughout the workforce, bringing out the best in everyone.
But the humility must be sincere. In some ways, false modesty is worse than bold-faced arrogance because it is deceptive. By contrast, genuine humility comes from seeing things as they really are—recognizing that no one is superior to another, that we are each learning and growing as we go along. Some may be more gifted or talented, some may have had greater opportunities and more doors opened to them, but all have something to offer. All are worthy of dignity and respect.
If this attitude can improve the corporate world, think about what it could do for our interactions in our homes and communities. Imagine what might happen if we listened a little better, admitted our errors, and stopped worrying about who gets credit. Humility just may be the key that unlocks the door to improved relations, stronger organizations, and happier lives.
1. Joann S. Lublin, “The Case for Humble Executives,” Wall Street Journal, Oct. 20, 2015.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Does the Atonement Really Cover....
There are seasons of the year in my life when I find myself spending much thought on certain personal experiences that cause me pain. During these times I do much heavy soul-searching and often doubt myself and my own ability to repent of actions / behaviors which I would do differently if I could go back in time and know what I know in hindsight. The Fall is one of those times of the year due to happenings of which only I am aware. I found myself in this position this week. Doubting myself seriously.
My husband suffered from and subsequently seemingly lost his life to a vicious disease called Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. If you research it you will find it is caused by a prion invading the brain tissue. Thus, it becomes a brain wasting disease for which there is no cure by the time it can be diagnosed. In his case as in most, I assume, symptoms do not make themselves manifest until it doesn't leave you much time to prepare, be aware, or deal.
As I saw symptoms in the beginning they were minor things which didn't make sense, so I didn't put two and two together, so to speak. As it rapidly progressed he started to tell me he wasn't sure the best way to get from point A to point B around town. While this caused me concern, I remember talking to him about problem solving and the best way to figure these things out while helping him to do so. And time passed. Rather than belabor my point and because it still causes me pain to go there, I will say no more about that at this time. By the way, the problem solving helps didn't work.
In order to shorten this post, I will simply say, as time passed it became truly frustrating that he could remember less and less and I found myself losing patience with him when I truly should not have. When you lose your patience you sometimes say things you wish you could take back and swallow. Finally, one day he hit a home run with me when his simple reply was, " I just can't help it. I can't remember these things."
I just can't help it! It dawned on me, the light came on! What was going on was beyond his control. No matter how many strategies he knew, no matter how smart he was or how many times he might have done something in prior times, he could not help that his memory was gone. It was beyond his control.
I spend many hours of regret wishing I could re-do these happenings and days -- wondering whether there is truly forgiveness in repentance for this on my part. Does the Atonement really cover and can he forgive me?
My husband suffered from and subsequently seemingly lost his life to a vicious disease called Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. If you research it you will find it is caused by a prion invading the brain tissue. Thus, it becomes a brain wasting disease for which there is no cure by the time it can be diagnosed. In his case as in most, I assume, symptoms do not make themselves manifest until it doesn't leave you much time to prepare, be aware, or deal.
As I saw symptoms in the beginning they were minor things which didn't make sense, so I didn't put two and two together, so to speak. As it rapidly progressed he started to tell me he wasn't sure the best way to get from point A to point B around town. While this caused me concern, I remember talking to him about problem solving and the best way to figure these things out while helping him to do so. And time passed. Rather than belabor my point and because it still causes me pain to go there, I will say no more about that at this time. By the way, the problem solving helps didn't work.
In order to shorten this post, I will simply say, as time passed it became truly frustrating that he could remember less and less and I found myself losing patience with him when I truly should not have. When you lose your patience you sometimes say things you wish you could take back and swallow. Finally, one day he hit a home run with me when his simple reply was, " I just can't help it. I can't remember these things."
I just can't help it! It dawned on me, the light came on! What was going on was beyond his control. No matter how many strategies he knew, no matter how smart he was or how many times he might have done something in prior times, he could not help that his memory was gone. It was beyond his control.
I spend many hours of regret wishing I could re-do these happenings and days -- wondering whether there is truly forgiveness in repentance for this on my part. Does the Atonement really cover and can he forgive me?
Thursday, September 10, 2015
That Season Called Fall and 'When The Frost Is On'......
So....once again I find myself crossing the threshold to fall of another year. Never has been my favorite time of the year even though I was born in the midst of the season and find many of its accompanying traits desirable. I am always reminded of one of my favorite poems, "When The Frost Is On The Pumpkin!" You know it goes like this -- maybe you didn't know--
"WHEN THE FROST IS ON THE PUNKIN"
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock,
And you hear the kyouck and gobble of the struttin' turkey-cock,
And the clackin' of the guineys, and the cluckin' of the hens,
And the rooster's hallylooyer as he tiptoes on the fence;
O, it's then's the times a feller is a-feelin' at his best,
With the risin' sun to greet him from a night of peaceful rest,
As he leaves the house, bareheaded, and goes out to feed the stock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.
They's something kind o' harty-like about the atmusfere
When the heat of summer's over and the coolin' fall is here --
Of course we miss the flowers, and the blossums on the trees,
And the mumble of the hummin'-birds and buzzin' of the bees;
But the air's so appetizin', and the landscape through the haze
Of a crisp and sunny morning of the airly autumn days
Is a pictur' that no painter has the colorin' to mock --
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.
The husky, rusty russel of the tossels of the corn,
And the raspin' of the tangled leaves, as golden as the morn;
The stubble in the furries -- kind o' lonesome-like, but still
A-preachin' sermuns to us of the barns they growed to fill;
The straw-stack in the medder, and the reaper in the shed;
The hosses in theyr stalls below -- the clover over-head, --
O, it sets my hart a-clickin' like the tickin' of a clock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock!
Then your apples all is gethered, and the ones a feller keeps
Is poured around the celler-floor in red and yeller heaps;
And your cider-makin' 's over, and your wimmern-folks is through
With their mince and apple-butter, and theyr souse and saussage, too! ...
I don't know how to tell it -- but ef sich a thing could be
As the Angels wantin' boardin', and they'd call around on me --
I'd want to 'commodate 'em -- all the whole-indurin' flock --
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock!
By James Whitcomb Riley
SO if I love poems such as this so much, why is it that I don't always enjoy Fall as much. Could have something to do with these allergies to grass and ragweed that make me itch from head to toe for a while. Naw, I don't really believe that is it! I think it is probably because I detest Winter so much and I know it is in the wings and cannot let myself live in the moment. Isn't that stupid; but that is the way I rock.
I guess the best way I can handle this whole situation is to enjoy each moment and to remember that joy cometh in the morning! Er,...or is that joy cometh beyond the season of 'ole man Winter!
"WHEN THE FROST IS ON THE PUNKIN"
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock,
And you hear the kyouck and gobble of the struttin' turkey-cock,
And the clackin' of the guineys, and the cluckin' of the hens,
And the rooster's hallylooyer as he tiptoes on the fence;
O, it's then's the times a feller is a-feelin' at his best,
With the risin' sun to greet him from a night of peaceful rest,
As he leaves the house, bareheaded, and goes out to feed the stock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.
They's something kind o' harty-like about the atmusfere
When the heat of summer's over and the coolin' fall is here --
Of course we miss the flowers, and the blossums on the trees,
And the mumble of the hummin'-birds and buzzin' of the bees;
But the air's so appetizin', and the landscape through the haze
Of a crisp and sunny morning of the airly autumn days
Is a pictur' that no painter has the colorin' to mock --
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.
The husky, rusty russel of the tossels of the corn,
And the raspin' of the tangled leaves, as golden as the morn;
The stubble in the furries -- kind o' lonesome-like, but still
A-preachin' sermuns to us of the barns they growed to fill;
The straw-stack in the medder, and the reaper in the shed;
The hosses in theyr stalls below -- the clover over-head, --
O, it sets my hart a-clickin' like the tickin' of a clock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock!
Then your apples all is gethered, and the ones a feller keeps
Is poured around the celler-floor in red and yeller heaps;
And your cider-makin' 's over, and your wimmern-folks is through
With their mince and apple-butter, and theyr souse and saussage, too! ...
I don't know how to tell it -- but ef sich a thing could be
As the Angels wantin' boardin', and they'd call around on me --
I'd want to 'commodate 'em -- all the whole-indurin' flock --
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock!
By James Whitcomb Riley
SO if I love poems such as this so much, why is it that I don't always enjoy Fall as much. Could have something to do with these allergies to grass and ragweed that make me itch from head to toe for a while. Naw, I don't really believe that is it! I think it is probably because I detest Winter so much and I know it is in the wings and cannot let myself live in the moment. Isn't that stupid; but that is the way I rock.
I guess the best way I can handle this whole situation is to enjoy each moment and to remember that joy cometh in the morning! Er,...or is that joy cometh beyond the season of 'ole man Winter!
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
More on Washers and Jewelry
It has been quite a time since I wrote on this blog. Looking back, I would say I am more apt to write in the winter when I am bored to tears and hating on cold weather, like only I can do! Could you even remember back when I last wrote about washers and then added a tidbit about jewelry at the end. Only I could not forget. This is the update.
As I promised in the last entry I did wind up putting that washer "out to pasture," so to speak. Probably for some, the washer is just fine For me, the washer was not a fit. So what am I out in that I have sold the washer for less than half of its worth and acquired another which cost several hundred dollars more. Just dollars and cents. Does the new one perform to my expectations? It has. Am I satisfied with it? Yes.
So what is the issue??
The issue continues to be one of the government deciding that washers are water wasters and they (government officials) need to regulate how they are engineered. So...the industry attempted to improve on the method by which our clothes are washed. The product was a new method of washing--- that of forcing water through the clothes rather that agitating them as had been done previously. Personally, I prefer the cleanliness brought about by agitating the clothing to remove soils and oil. Do I find that the amount of water is less in a machine with the impeller type cleaning? No, not as witnessed by my water bills. Do I still feel that my clothing is cleaner in an agitator machine? I do.
As for my ideas about jewelry and wearing "stuff" that looks and feels like logging chains around your neck, nothing has changed. It is what it is! However, that type costume jewelry does fill the open space left by low cut necklines.
That is it for today and my update.
As I promised in the last entry I did wind up putting that washer "out to pasture," so to speak. Probably for some, the washer is just fine For me, the washer was not a fit. So what am I out in that I have sold the washer for less than half of its worth and acquired another which cost several hundred dollars more. Just dollars and cents. Does the new one perform to my expectations? It has. Am I satisfied with it? Yes.
So what is the issue??
The issue continues to be one of the government deciding that washers are water wasters and they (government officials) need to regulate how they are engineered. So...the industry attempted to improve on the method by which our clothes are washed. The product was a new method of washing--- that of forcing water through the clothes rather that agitating them as had been done previously. Personally, I prefer the cleanliness brought about by agitating the clothing to remove soils and oil. Do I find that the amount of water is less in a machine with the impeller type cleaning? No, not as witnessed by my water bills. Do I still feel that my clothing is cleaner in an agitator machine? I do.
As for my ideas about jewelry and wearing "stuff" that looks and feels like logging chains around your neck, nothing has changed. It is what it is! However, that type costume jewelry does fill the open space left by low cut necklines.
That is it for today and my update.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Perpetuating Wallowing
In our area of this marvelous world occurred a great tragedy this week with the slaying of three gifted students two of whom were studying to be dentists and another in undergraduate school. Whether the agitation and aggravation which caused these slayings stemmed from intentional actions, we may never know. Much of the true detail has yet to be rolled out.
However, the saddest part of this event (if it may be termed so) has been (once again) the action or reaction of the press. We can expect human emotions to be what they are because lives were taken. Lawlessness seemed to reign supreme thus emotions and vocal outbursts were everywhere as many had much to say. But rather than letting people handle this tragedy in their own way the press had to get involved and rather than reporting facts and leaving it there, they hang around probing, the "in your face" kind of reporting that is difficult for families and relatives. The distateful part of all of this to me is that it seems to encourage perpetual wallowing in the remnants of an event most individuals were powerless to prevent.
The charge of it being a "hate crime" is being alleged according to the press by the families of those lost. Since the three individuals lost were of the Muslim faith one can easily understand their thought paths -- a direct reflection of world events at this time. A charge of "hate crime" would be difficult to prove in a court of law. Not much is on the law books of our nation in this area of law. These parents and families are hurting at this time. Give them space and time to grieve their losses. Let the individuals specializing in the laws of the land handle their investigations and proceed with the business at hand. AND please send the press home to report on something positive someone has done for a change! Stop perpetuating wallowing!
However, the saddest part of this event (if it may be termed so) has been (once again) the action or reaction of the press. We can expect human emotions to be what they are because lives were taken. Lawlessness seemed to reign supreme thus emotions and vocal outbursts were everywhere as many had much to say. But rather than letting people handle this tragedy in their own way the press had to get involved and rather than reporting facts and leaving it there, they hang around probing, the "in your face" kind of reporting that is difficult for families and relatives. The distateful part of all of this to me is that it seems to encourage perpetual wallowing in the remnants of an event most individuals were powerless to prevent.
The charge of it being a "hate crime" is being alleged according to the press by the families of those lost. Since the three individuals lost were of the Muslim faith one can easily understand their thought paths -- a direct reflection of world events at this time. A charge of "hate crime" would be difficult to prove in a court of law. Not much is on the law books of our nation in this area of law. These parents and families are hurting at this time. Give them space and time to grieve their losses. Let the individuals specializing in the laws of the land handle their investigations and proceed with the business at hand. AND please send the press home to report on something positive someone has done for a change! Stop perpetuating wallowing!
Monday, February 2, 2015
Tribute to Denver C Harper
On the morning of January 30, 2015 the mantle of patriarch of the Denver Harper branch of the Harper Family passed from father to son as Denver parted the veil and passed to the other side to dwell again with family members having gone before, and to await future arrival of others he loves following their earthly sojourns. Leaving behind his mortal body with its frailties, he is now able to enjoy a renewed freedom of spirit.
Denver lived a very full earthly life having been born a farm boy to parents in the eastern sandy plains of the state of North Carolina. He along with five brothers and one sister labored long hours on the family farm in their early formative years. As a young adult he went off to BYU to further his education and met a young lassie from Cardston, Alberta, Canada. After serving a mission for his church he married this young lady in the Cardston Temple and proceeded to raise a lovely family. Their earthly family is composed of two sons and four daughters. One sweet daughter passed away shortly after birth and a son who lived to adulthood, Ricky (Richard Wayne) was killed in a tragic vehicle accident shortly before he could serve an earthly mission for his church. Now many grandchildren and their families are added to that growing family circle.
He was honored to serve his country with a career in the US Army. He and his family traveled to countries and states as he served with honor. His career included a stint in the tragic fields of Viet Nam during that conflict. As I recall, he was stationed in the jungles of an area known to the world as Ahn Ke serving as a helicopter pilot and perhaps leading a unit in that valley. He retired with the rank of Lieutenant Colonel.
When I married his younger brother and into this family he and his family were living in Germany and returned back to the states some years later. After this assignment they lived in Virginia and Savannah, the latter being a choice assignment to the family as their darling Cheri became part of their family during this time.
He was the “bestest” brother-in-law a girl could hope for. In later years when my husband became ill, he came to visit and help us as Ken’s last days on this earth waned. This was a few months after he had cut the end of his finger off and had it re-attached while using his snow-blower. I remember hearing that his snow blower got lots of use as he used it to blow the snow from the walkways and porches of others in his community who needed his assistance.
After Ken’s death I settled into a new smaller home. Soon I had visitors who came to help ----guess who. I wish I could remember all he helped me accomplish during this and other visits--- tasks that were a pain for me to try to do --- some which just needed the muscles of the opposite gender. ( Lucille helped supervise and boost my spirits.) Once he helped me spread about forty-five bales of pine straw in the natural areas in back of my home and under the deck. Not a pleasant task but he insisted. That time, as I recall, he had returned to NC for a high school reunion. He even walked my schnauzer girl, Sassy, (for me) in my community and reported back when one of my grumpy neighbors complained as he passed by about dogs. Ah, what a super duper brother-in-law.
He often called just to check on me and my well-being and chat for a few minutes. I always loved touching bases with him and his family via our conversations. Always the perfect gentleman, having been born of goodly southern parents!
He came last when he brought his children to visit NC and to attend a reunion of his old church ward in Albertson, North Carolina. I had had knee surgery and was limping around like everybody’s great grandma and he and those kids were ready for some southern fun. How I envied them!!! He enjoyed his family to the fullest extent, enjoyed being with them and helping them when they needed. Each summer as long as possible he enjoyed having an extended family outing where they all could enjoy time together complete with boating and sports activities. (Bear Lake, Utah for many years, as I recall.)
In more recent years following the loss of his beloved Lucille in 2005, he did not have to look too far to find another with whom to spend his last seven plus years. He married lovely Janice in 2007 and they were fortunate to spend time together and time shared with their family.
We will all miss him as we continue our journeys here in mortality and will remember with a great deal of fondness the days when he was part of our earthly sojourn.
Farewell for a while Father, Husband, Uncle, Grandfather, Brother-in-law -----we WILL meet again.
Denver lived a very full earthly life having been born a farm boy to parents in the eastern sandy plains of the state of North Carolina. He along with five brothers and one sister labored long hours on the family farm in their early formative years. As a young adult he went off to BYU to further his education and met a young lassie from Cardston, Alberta, Canada. After serving a mission for his church he married this young lady in the Cardston Temple and proceeded to raise a lovely family. Their earthly family is composed of two sons and four daughters. One sweet daughter passed away shortly after birth and a son who lived to adulthood, Ricky (Richard Wayne) was killed in a tragic vehicle accident shortly before he could serve an earthly mission for his church. Now many grandchildren and their families are added to that growing family circle.
He was honored to serve his country with a career in the US Army. He and his family traveled to countries and states as he served with honor. His career included a stint in the tragic fields of Viet Nam during that conflict. As I recall, he was stationed in the jungles of an area known to the world as Ahn Ke serving as a helicopter pilot and perhaps leading a unit in that valley. He retired with the rank of Lieutenant Colonel.
When I married his younger brother and into this family he and his family were living in Germany and returned back to the states some years later. After this assignment they lived in Virginia and Savannah, the latter being a choice assignment to the family as their darling Cheri became part of their family during this time.
He was the “bestest” brother-in-law a girl could hope for. In later years when my husband became ill, he came to visit and help us as Ken’s last days on this earth waned. This was a few months after he had cut the end of his finger off and had it re-attached while using his snow-blower. I remember hearing that his snow blower got lots of use as he used it to blow the snow from the walkways and porches of others in his community who needed his assistance.
After Ken’s death I settled into a new smaller home. Soon I had visitors who came to help ----guess who. I wish I could remember all he helped me accomplish during this and other visits--- tasks that were a pain for me to try to do --- some which just needed the muscles of the opposite gender. ( Lucille helped supervise and boost my spirits.) Once he helped me spread about forty-five bales of pine straw in the natural areas in back of my home and under the deck. Not a pleasant task but he insisted. That time, as I recall, he had returned to NC for a high school reunion. He even walked my schnauzer girl, Sassy, (for me) in my community and reported back when one of my grumpy neighbors complained as he passed by about dogs. Ah, what a super duper brother-in-law.
He often called just to check on me and my well-being and chat for a few minutes. I always loved touching bases with him and his family via our conversations. Always the perfect gentleman, having been born of goodly southern parents!
He came last when he brought his children to visit NC and to attend a reunion of his old church ward in Albertson, North Carolina. I had had knee surgery and was limping around like everybody’s great grandma and he and those kids were ready for some southern fun. How I envied them!!! He enjoyed his family to the fullest extent, enjoyed being with them and helping them when they needed. Each summer as long as possible he enjoyed having an extended family outing where they all could enjoy time together complete with boating and sports activities. (Bear Lake, Utah for many years, as I recall.)
In more recent years following the loss of his beloved Lucille in 2005, he did not have to look too far to find another with whom to spend his last seven plus years. He married lovely Janice in 2007 and they were fortunate to spend time together and time shared with their family.
We will all miss him as we continue our journeys here in mortality and will remember with a great deal of fondness the days when he was part of our earthly sojourn.
Farewell for a while Father, Husband, Uncle, Grandfather, Brother-in-law -----we WILL meet again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)