True Love

Some of the prevalent social websites have given many of us the opportunity to reconnect with former classmates of many years ago. Much has been written about the evils of these happenings. As I have learned of the lives of those who marched with me on that graduation dayI have been stung by the number of those whose marriages have crumbled for one reason or another. On the other hand there are those who have been successful enough to grow old together. Some are today enduring life-threatening illnesses and some are quite broken at the loss of a partner with whom they have built a life and had a family.

I could not help but reflect on these things when hearing this message given with the Tabernacle Choir Broadcast recently. How many of us remember reading the quote from The Notebook,

by Nicholas Sparks.

True and Lasting Love February 13, 2011 Broadcast number 4248 Few things are more beautiful than a couple in love. Whether newly married or celebrating a golden anniversary, couples who keep love alive, who endure the ups and downs of life together, deserve our admiration. We may consider them lucky, but they will tell you that it's not luck that keeps them in love. It's choosing to stay in love, all along the way. They have come to know that love is a behavior, a series of actions and choices-not just an elusive feeling that might someday escape them. Some 400 years ago, William Shakespeare expressed this timeless truth: Love is not love, Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark, That looks on tempests, and is never shaken.1 Tempests and trials come to us all, to every family, every marriage. But true and lasting love is possible. Charles and Elaine were married, and in love, for nearly 60 years. Later in life, when Elaine could not care for herself, Charles devoted himself to her care. He practiced making her favorite recipes until he got them just right. He learned to sew and then altered her clothing to make it easier for her to get dressed. He gave her daily facials with her favorite cream. He took her to swim therapy and researched other ways he could make her more comfortable. He had his own health problems, but his first concern was always the comfort and well-being of his sweetheart.2 These words from a popular novel capture well Charles's devotion: "I am a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough."3 Charles and Elaine, and other couples like them, are proof that love need not be shaken by life's tempests. True love can live forever. 1. Sonnet 116, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, ed. George Long Duyckinck (1869), 954. 2. See Marcia L. Aes, "Dad's Lesson in Love," Ensign, Dec. 2009, 10-12. 3. Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook (1996), 2.

Mortgage Madness

Frequently I use this blog to vent about things I find perplexing or things that go around in my head. Ken was my sounding board and often we sorted out newsworthy items with their pros and cons as well as issues about which we were concerned. (He was my BF, ya know.) So today I will talk to myself in this blog about the housing "mess."

Since this housing mess in which we find ourselves (as a nation ) is a first I often can not help but wonder how it will all "shake out." A relatively high percentage of folks in our country (approx. 27%) find themselves living in and paying for a home that is worth considerably less than their mortgage. These are referred to as underwater mortgages. The housing bubble burst and housing prices have fallen substantially and continue to fall. In cities such as Phoenix homeowners find themselves with roughly 70% of their mortgages underwater. A city closer to us with a high number of underwater mortgages is Atlanta with 54% . One cannot help but wonder what eventually will happen in these cases. In one article I read it was indicated that one couple interviewed paid 375 K for a home that was now valued at 150 K.

Who really wants to pay off a mortgage of 350,000 on a home that today is only worth half that much? When you think of it in that context it is easy to understand why some folks have bailed. It also seems almost unfair and definitely unfortunate for homeowners finding themselves holding an underwater mortgage. For that matter what bank wants to have a mortgage out / owed to them for which the collateral is only guaranteed for fifty percent of worth. Or did I say that backwards. Whatever!!

Hey, isn't this like buying a brand new car whose value goes down greatly when you drive it off the new car lot???? And holding the loan on the car as it decreases in value???

Dog"gone" Relationships

I have always been a people watcher. Folks do some funny things if you just watch them. People behavior is one thing. Doggie behavior is another interesting "watch." Actually they are probably very similar. I had never had a dog of my own until about twelve years ago when my sister and her family gave me my Sassy. Sassy was an only child for at least six years before I acquired Piper. Watching doggie interactions was a new experience for me.

Sassy and Piper had such different personalities that their experiences learning to live together were probably unique. Sassy may have wished that Piper had never come to live with us but she never acted that way. I don't remember that she reacted at all. But Piper surely did!! She wanted to be number one and started out hipping and pushing Sassy around. However, the problem was that Sassy just handled it. She knew she was number one and no upstart was going to push her out of place so she just ignored Piper. As long as Sassy lived Piper never got beyond trying to be number one but......she never pushed Sassy out of her spot.

Now enter Kami (Kamelot). This girl is a piece of work. She is as cute as a button and just as lovable. She is very emotional. If she can't get something accomplished she soon will be whimpering while trying just as hard as possible. My reference point for that particular behavior is trying to hide everything from Piper. When she can't seem to get it covered she works harder all of the time whimpering in frustration.

She also has to kiss all over me when I go out and come back. She stays pinned up in her "little condo" while I am gone. When I return and unlock her door to let her out I get kissed almost to the point of having to mop my face --- or whatever she can get to. By evening she is very tired because she is so (hyper)active. She comes to me to sit by me all curled up. Eventually I put her in her pet taxi and she goes off to sleepytown.

A lot is written about dogs regarding those with whom they live -- be they human or canine-- as members of their pack. That is somewhat evident in the way Kami watches Piper. When they start outside Kami waits for Piper and runs alongside her until she is certain they are both heading to the same area. Once outside they do their own thing. However, they do keep track of each other. Recently they were both getting a bath --- one at a time! My dogs have always stayed nearby when their "sibling" was getting bathed. But this time Kami whined and cried the whole time I bathed Piper. I am not sure what she thought I was doing to "her sister." Once Piper was out of the bath, wrapped up in towels, getting her blow-dry Kami was loving on her to be sure she was OK.

Behavior is fascinating whether human or canine. I am always wondering what is going on in their minds.

Just an old woman's account of living with dogs!

Holiday Smorgasbord

Groundhog Day has done come and went! Next on the horizon is Valentines Day. Oh my, another day to empty the pockets of lovers and wanna-be s everywhere. Then we progress toward Presidents Day. What the heck!! Didn't we use to have Abe Lincoln's birthday on February 12th and George Washington's birthday on February 22nd. And now they have been shmushed into Presidents' Day. Wonder why that was????? I just looovve celebratin' in the dead of winter!! Oh yes, and February is Black History month, Heart Health month, for doggies it is Teeth Care month, and every month seems to be Breast Care month. Did I leave anything out????

All of the February stuff is followed by St. Patrick's Day -- my favorite. Gets my Irish blood hoppin'! Also convinces me God does love us because Spring is around the corner!! This year Easter is late so we will have to wait until the end of April to wear our Easter bonnets. I am so excited I can hardly stand myself. How about you??

Yes, I must remind myself again, Daylight Saving Time starts on March 13th this year. Ooooweee, somebody loves me --- the days are gettin' longer! Gotta love it folks!

My Ode to GroundHog Day

Here she comes again.... that little brownish grey groundhog peeping out of her/ his hole to see whether the sun is blinding her/his view. Now I truly hope it rains in her / his face and the sun makes no appearance. I am so tired of the....oh, yes, I promised not to talk about the "you know" any more cuz I have so worn out the subject through this long season that began at least a month before time!!

Tomorrow is also my Uncle David's birthday. He was my Dad's younger brother who gave his life in the defense of your country. I loved my Uncle David and wonder how life would have been different had he lived to raise a family and grow old. My grandmother Lemon never got over his death. For years she expected to hear his footsteps on the walk way in spite of the fact that she knew he was gone. Such hurt and grief often grips the hearts of those left behind when their sons or daughters are killed in war in lands far away.

But back to Mr. G'Hog folks everywhere will be watching in all parts of the country to see what that feller has to say. In downtown Raleigh the mayor will be out socializing with Sir Walter Raleigh the native Mr. G'Hog. Up there in Pennsylvania folks will be hanging with their native fella, Punxsutawney Phil. Can't you just feel the excitement?? I can hardly contain myself.

By the way, just in case you are interested according to my research, Punksy Phil only has predicted an early spring twelve percent of the time and he has an accuracy rate of thirty-nine percent.

Some have had the audacity to predict that the weather will be too bad for Phil in the morning and he will not even venture out. Wonder what that predicts???

Goodbye Dear Friend

It has been my privilege to know and have known some very special people during my earthly sojourn. I feel particularly blessed for having rubbed shoulders with a dear lady who passed from this earthly existence to the other side of the veil on Saturday. She and I shared many interests one of which was our mutual love of the organ as an instrument of choice for church services. Another was our love of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This lovely lady always had a loving hug, a smile, and a lively conversation to share. I learned to know her best when she visited my home regularly each month as a visiting teacher some years ago. During this time her devoted husband had passed away and she came to live with her daughter who lived near by. She had a lovely relationship with her daughter and son-in law. I am certain that her departure leaves a tremendous void in their home and lives. I also have a deep conviction that my friend looked forward to "going home" to dwell with those she loved who waited for her just beyond the veil.

Rest in peace, dear friend. I love you and will miss you. Till me meet again.

Ms Fix-It

It is very sad to me to know people whose hearts are aching and not to be able to fix it. I always seem to want to fix it or make it better when really I am just an ordinary human being with no power to intervene I know individuals who have recently lost a spouse. How well I know that pain. I really believe it is impossible to have any understanding of that grief until you experience it. One individual has just buried her husband about a week ago and it is quite heartbreaking to read what she writes of the pain she is experiencing and her calls for prayer and help. It reminds me of pain of my own and I avoid going there -- so I understand. In other cases individuals have aching hearts after learning a spouse has been unapologetically unfaithful. Trust has been lost. Mates are bewildered wondering where to turn, what to do, and who(m) to believe. Families are broken and children are hurt.

Grief is the hardest work you will ever do in this life, I believe. When faced with grief we all must struggle through its many stages whether it comes as the result of the loss of a loved one through death or infidelity. The stages of grief do not come in a set order. We all deal with it in our own way and through its stages in our own order. Some people experience anger before hurt. Some on the other hand may not deal with anger until the final stage. But however it comes it is most difficult.

It goes without saying that we should always be kind to one another-- so that we can be in a position to lift one another up. At best we all have difficult days and we do not know what burdens our friends may be carrying or what unspoken needs they may have.