What is it With Trees?

Well, it has happened again. As surely as seasons change the most intriguing of events takes place. I marvel each spring and fall at this happening. I have never understood what it is with trees. Have you noticed that in the last few days they have started putting on their clothes?? I discussed this with my elementary students each year. What is it with trees that they put on their clothes in the Spring when the weather starts to heat up and then things get really warm? Then here they are all fully clothed and it is very, very hot outside. But in about five months or so they start taking off their clothes and throwing them on the ground. Shortly after that it starts to get cool and finally quite cold. It seems to me that trees are so mixed up on this how to dress appropriately thing.

Understanding Myself

Have you ever wondered what you are really up to?? Today I wonder that about myself. I am at my "other home" at the coast. My mother built this home in 1990. She lived in it seven months before she had a massive stroke and my brother (and his children) followed by my sister found her in the floor of her bathroom one Saturday morning when she did not answer the door. The rest is history. She lived a year in a nursing home never again being able to communicate with us in any way. I kept the home when the estate was settled. So as I prepare to sell it now I wonder if I keep dragging my feet at these final tasks I have to do just because deep somewhere inside in those recesses we never understand I do not want to let go. Therefore I can never get on with the task. Could that really be what is going on??
If that is the case, what can I expect when I do let it go? Now a twinge of fear. Am I doing the right thing or not?

Shredding the Past

I have spent a considerable amount of time in the past weeks shredding my past. The enormous amount of paper in my life has got to go. I have held onto records of my past with my now deceased husband or I should say the hard copies of documents that record the everyday happenings of our life together. I also have neatly (and some not so neatly) filed copies of documents of my own since he went away. The time has come to let it all go. A majority of it is neatly filed or boxed as we arranged it from year to year for access should we need it. I no longer need most of it. Having to deal with these items is painful for me. I don't know why -- it is just paper. I seem to bog down in the task as I shred and seek to reorganize anything I feel should be kept. I cannot express how much I detest this task. I wonder if I will ever finish it to my own satisfaction before I leave this good earth. In the meantime I continue to shred and pitch.

Give to Live

Well, again I couldn't resist posting this message from "The Spoken Word." Having read Mitch Albom's books I couldn't help but reflect on these words.

Music and the Spoken Word



"Give to Live"
March 14, 2010, Broadcast #4200


Every Tuesday for months, writer Mitch Albom met with his old professor Morrie Schwartz to talk about life. Morrie was dying, but he taught his former student profound lessons in living. Considering his physical condition, Morrie could have easily accepted pity, but he didn't. "Why would I ever take like that?" he said. "Taking only makes me feel like I'm dying. Giving makes me feel like I'm living.1"
It may sound ironic, but it's true. The people who seem to get the most out of life are those who aren't focused on getting at all. They give, and they find that giving sweetens and enriches their lives.

Indeed, we live by giving. We each have something to give. And it doesn't have to be something grand; it just needs to come from the heart. It may be our time, our interest or concern, our resources, our skills, or our talents. It could be the willingness to listen, the patience to truly understand, the selflessness to think of others before ourselves. A smile and a sincere word of praise may be worth more than gold to one who is discouraged. An extended hand of friendship and an offer to help may be just what's needed to get someone through the day. Unlike the material gifts that wear down and run out, these more precious gifts are inexhaustible. In fact, the miracle is that the more we give such gifts, the more we have to give.


Think of those you know who freely give. Their generosity sometimes makes them busy, and yet they always seem to have time for you. They're interested in you. They make efforts to lift your spirits and encourage you, even when they're carrying burdens that may be heavier than your own. They generously share their wisdom, experience, and life lessons. Because they are willing to give, they live. And in a sense, they and their gifts will live forever.

1In Joseph M. Dougherty, "Feel most alive by giving, author Albom says at WSU," Deseret Morning News, Mar. 29, 2007, B5.

The Worth of a Soul

As I drove up Interstate 40 yesterday I was listening to the radio. Among the news items being updated on the hour was the story of a thirty year old man charged with having stolen a van and run it into five people in the Fayetteville area killing one man. This young man had been having trouble for some time and was known to be mentally ill. His wife and other family members sought help for him without success. When he was arrested it was recognized that he was schizophrenic and quite "out of his gourd." However that did not change the fact that he killed a person and wounded others to the extent that one is still using a wheel chair.
My doctor testified in this case as he had interviewed this young man for diagnosis purposes. He had talked to me at length about him recently. As best the doctor could ascertain this fella had been on no medication and was extremely delusional at the time he committed the dreadful act. He believes that God talks to him and that when God talks to him he feels better -- gives him comfort somehow he relates. He doesn't like to take his medication for his mental problems because they curb the voices in his head and he rather likes when God talks to him.
As I listened the news reported that he had been found guilty of murder and several other offenses for these acts he had committed. Then the news report indicated that the jury would meet again today for the sentencing part of the trial. Today the news indicated that rather than starting the sentencing part of the trial today they had heard from family members on both sides.
As I drove along I pondered the future of this young man who is about thirty as I remember. What he had done is really really bad. To keep him in prison for the rest of his life will mean struggling to keep him medicated so that he is sane. I questioned both sides and possible decisions as I traveled.
Put him on death row for a crime (that) he was insane when he committed? Keep him confined for the rest of his natural life and try to keep him medicated so that he does not live in a schizophrenic state.
What is the most merciful thing to do with an individual in this predictament?
I am not a doctor and thank goodness I was not a member of this jury.

Nourishing Relationships

As Spring arrives our minds turn to the foliage growing, blossoming, and flourishing around us. So often I remember my husband telling me as he planted roses in his rose garden that the holes dug to plant them in should be more than twice the size of the ball going into the hole and quite deep. Often I tried to help him and he instructed me as we worked. I listened because I knew that he knew and that he had been well schooled in the "art of gardening" having been tutored by his father as he grew up on a farm in a county south of Raleigh. Over and over again we did this throughout our years together. Always his roses, shrubs, trees, and gardens flourished.
I never gave much thought to likening it to building relationships until I heard the following message by Lloyd Newell with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir broadcast. I have taken the liberty of printing it here. Perhaps it will be meaningful to you as well. As with any relationship we develop and nourish the one we carve out and mold with our eternal partner is one worthy of the best we have to give in energy and devotion.

"The Roots of Meaningful Relationships"
March 7, 2010, Broadcast #4199


The weather began to change, and a man felt inclined to plant something outside in the cold earth. After a hard winter of dark skies and icy storms, the prospect of digging in the ground warmed his heart. So he did some homework, researched the best tree for his chosen spot, and went to see an expert.
The master gardener had this counsel: "Don't plant a hundred-dollar tree in a ten-dollar hole! The roots of the tree," he explained, "must have room to expand and to absorb the nutrients from the soil. Also, the tree must be planted deep enough so that the roots can move into the soil and give the plant stability. If it's planted right, you can expect it will grow into a beautiful tree and last a long time."1

Good advice--not just for planting trees but also for building relationships. Both trees and relationships grow best in an environment that has been carefully prepared and is constantly nurtured.

Occasionally a seed may fall on uncultivated soil and spring up as a sapling, but such trees rarely last long enough to bear fruit. Likewise, lasting relationships don't just happen. They must be fostered by love and attention, cultivated by care and concern, and fed by kindness and generosity. It doesn't happen in one day of intensive attention; it happens over time, in countless small moments, as gradually as a tree grows.

Meaningful relationships are worth more than hundred-dollar trees, and they deserve all the time, effort, and energy they need to become strong and beautiful. Then, once the roots are well established, such relationships can continue to grow--even under difficult circumstances. Trust and understanding will nurture the relationship, and eventually, the flowers of love will blossom and bear sweet fruit.

Parricide

Last week I had an appointment with my favorite doctor. It was a medicine maintenance visit. Very often when we "visit" we talk about topics of interest in our lives which sometimes take an interesting side road. Such was the case that day. Why do Kids Kill Parents -- a topic he delves into in his occupation and a topic of interest to me from experiences in my profession. Stories hit the news on a semi regular basis wound tightly around this issue.
I have had an interest in this topic since having taught a young man who killed his mother over a credit card. I had taught him in fifth grade and my memories of my time with him were vivid when he at age nineteen committed this heinous act. I remembered well my struggles trying to get him to do his work, to motivate him, and draw him into class activities and events. He was obnoxious and did many things just to annoy me and his classmates. He was into dressing in black and wearing the same clothes to school each day plus non-cooperativeness - if that is a word. His Mother was a really sweet lady who was finishing a masters degree at NC State in counseling and pursuing a doctorate in education. She used every skill and trick she had learned trying to manage his behavior and to get him to be a productive student and family member. I well remember their family compromise on the clothing issue. It went like this : you can wear the same clothing to school each day (if you insist) with one qualification -- it must be washed each night. So he complied and washed it each evening for the following day. I need to mention that this young man was a gifted student having met all of the qualifications that entitled him to the services of that program. He couldn't have cared less!
As I recall there were two boys in the family, one younger than he. The mother and their father had divorced earlier and she had remarried. The stepfather had either found work or had been transferred to the west coast. Her younger son had gone with him with plans for the mother to join them when she completed her work at NC State. During this time the older son here had stolen her credit card. (This seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back among numbers of other incidences he had with the law.) She turned him in to the police and he was arrested and put in jail. He got out of jail with the help of a girl friend returned to the home and killed his mother. He then wrapped her body in bed clothing and a tarp and stashed it on a balcony outside her bedroom. In the meantime he partied in the house with his friends as if all was well. All was discovered when the father could not reach the mother by phone. When he sought help her body was discovered. Later the young man killed himself in a stand off with police.
My doctor told me there are three main reasons children kill parents and loaned me a book which I am reading on the topic. More later.......stay tuned.

Catching Up

Do you ever set goals for yourself? Do you ever get behind on your housekeeping tasks and find it difficult to catch up as in get sort of "down" because it all needs to be done? I have felt like I am "under it" of late as I try to organize myself to catch up on all of the things I did not get done while my shoulder was healing. Now is the time to work as fast as I can go to do all of the tasks I have neglected before the heat of the summer arrives. I even thought if I wrote about it I would put the "heat" on myself to commit to getting it done. So I am going to try this and see how it works out. More later on that.
There are so many little things that need to be done that I have neglected to do. All of them take time, many are tedious. I have missed Ken and his help in trying to keep house since he went away. He was always good about helping with those tasks that were difficult to reach or took a ladder. Now I get to do it all alone in due time.
I will report on my progress -- if there is any.

Here We Go Again....

Today is March 2nd and here we go again. Weather predictions of snow in the Carolinas. Usually everyone who breathes would be excited! No??? No, not this time. Most adults are tired of Miss El Nino and her bag of tricks. Go away, we want Spring. You know Spring, warm stuff, daffodils, crocuses, hyacinths, and then Easter. Mother Nature does not seem to be listening this year. Slow Learner, I guess that is what we can call her. But when all is said and done we know in our heart of hearts that Spring will not be far behind. It may be a little chillier than we would prefer but the calendar doth tell the story.
Nevertheless, life goes on and there are things to be done. SO lets get on with the fun stuff of life and living. One of the not so fun things that must be done before mid-April is that annual accounting with Uncle Sam and balancing the til-- what is his and what do I get to keep. Not my favorite task.

Springing Into March

Today is March 1st. Can Spring be far behind? This has been such a cold, cold winter that I doubt many folks will be sad to see it go. It has always seemed to me that hot, hot summers followed cold, cold winters in North Carolina. Hopefully this year I am wrong, wrong, wrong! Predictors and prognosicators say the presence of El Nino means a rather active hurricane season for the Atlantic. That can be good and bad. It usually brings lots of rain but the danger of devasting destructive storms as well.
Wednesday, March 3rd, is my father's birthday. He has been gone twenty-one years now. We have missed him a lot. Neither he nor we were ready for him to leave but Heavenly Father must have been ready. My Dad was a good man. He had qualities that are difficult to find among men today. He was a truly honest man. He loved his family and he was a tough taskmaster -- kept us straight!
Happy Birthday, Daddy.