Today ranks up there with the saddest days of my life. I have written about and dreaded this day for about seven months. That was when I was told that my older schnauzer girl had a brachial plexus tumor under her right foreleg and further that it had invaded the nervous system. Any treatment done would not cure the cancer so I chose not to treat it but rather to treat my precious Sassy with the best of care and love for her remaining days, keeping her pain-free until her suffering was such that she should go to Schnauzer Heaven. Today was that day.
Since the death of my husband twelve years ago I have not cried. Since learning of the impending loss of this doggie girl I have cried a few buckets full. I have felt so extremely helpless. It was another of those times when I couldn't fix it. When Ken was sick I tried my best to find what was wrong with him. Neither I nor the doctors could fix it. By the time the doctors figured out the cause they realized what he had could not be cured. Such was the case again.
When Sassy was sick she always looked to me for comfort and help. This time I could comfort but was not very good at helping. She remained totally devoted and attached to me until the end and that is one of the reasons my heart is broken as I type these words. She was so very stoic through the very end.
Rest in Peace my wonderful, wonderful girl. I will always love you more than I can say or measure. You were like the daughter I never had. You made my life worth living after the loss of Ken. Each and every morning I had a reason to get up --- you needed me. And I needed you so.
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